I am coming into this show having had almost no sleep, so I'm not sure how well this is going to sit with me, but I shall try to enjoy it for what it is. This isn't technically the first show I have watched this Mania week as I watched the first episode of Beyond Wrestling's new Uncharted Territory show. It was a fun show, with a very good main event of David Starr vs Masato Tanaka, but the production needs to improve. Anyway, onto this.
Kikutaro vs Bobby Wayward
This was a match. It involved typical Kikutaro antics, including some ballbag shots, and using the ref as a weapon. I get the feeling ratings are pointless here.
Dan Lambert, Colby Covington and John Hartnett from American Top Team are here to tell everyone that wrestling has been shit since the 80s and issuing an open challenge. Scarlett Bordeaux answers the challenge.
John Hartnett vs Scarlett Bordeaux
Scarlett just fucking destroyed Hartnett. Dan Lambert attacks Scarlett but Hartnett gets put through a (kinda) table. That was more entertaining than the opener.
Santana Jackson vs Pat Buck
So, Jackson's gimmick is Michael Jackson. It's a weird time for that gimmick. I will admit to laughing when he kicked out of a tombstone because someone played Thriller over the speakers though. Anyway, Pat Buck won. It wasn't much of a match.
Johnny Clash vs Anthony Bowens vs Jake Manning vs Matt Macintosh
It may just be my sleep deprived brain talking, but Jake Manning coming out with a tent, a full on camping tent, might be the funniest thing I've seen in wrestling in some time. There was some wrestling in this, but that doesn't matter because there was a 'this is camping chant' and four men having a fight inside a tent. Manning won after a tower of doom through the tent. This was fucking ridiculous but in no way can I say that it wasn't entertaining. Jake Manning and his tent are the early high bar for Mania weekend.
Team Tremendous vs Demon Bunny
I like both of these teams. Allie died on Impact last week but thankfully it didn't stick. This was easily the match that was most like wrestling on the show so far, having said that the tent is still tops for me.
Bird Box Match - Buster Jackson vs Shawn Donovan
So, this is a blindfold match where you have to remove your opponent's blindfold before you can pin them. Oh, and the referee is also blindfolded. This was one of the worst things ever. This show may have been a mistake.
Grim & Duhop vs Shook Crew vs Breakfast Club vs Massage Force vs Job Security vs BWO vs KM & Fallah Bah vs Team Espana
I am a big fan of good tag wrestling, but this was not that. Not at all. And it lasted nearly 2 weeks.
Street Fight - Dan Maff vs Swoggle
Kill me now.
Colt Cabana & Santino Marella vs Heavenly Bodies
It is, mercifully, time for the main event. The best part of this was when Killer Kross came out and beat everyone down. He then said the magic words 'dick of steel', which summoned Joey Ryan. Naturally. The faces did their thing and we are done.
Overall Thoughts
So, Does Funny = Money? Not on this evidence. It may seem like I'm being overly harsh but I actually don't mind comedy wrestling when it is done well, but it really wasn't done well here. The fact that it was the only thing we got didn't help either. What I will say, though, is that if you can find some GIFs of Jake Manning and his tent, check that shit out because that was genuinely hilarious. Onwards and upwards to better things as the week goes on.
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