Bloody hell, I'm exhausted. Ay up, everyone. NXT is fucking great. As difficult as tomorrow at WrestleMania might be, we can (probably) rely on NXT to provide a top class show.
I made the mistake of tuning in early and watching the last half hour of the pre-show. The bloke doing that challenge to win a million dollars is bloody insufferable. Marsh, Mac and I just ended up spending 10 minutes debating which Beatles songs are good (for what it's worth, The Beatles are shit and they have precisely two good songs). We make it to the main show just before I rip my own ears off. Here we go.
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War Raiders(c) vs Aleister Black & Ricochet
---The tag title match opens Takeover, for a change. Every god damn time, I swear. Ricochet is over as fuck on his kind-of-return to NXT. Aleister Black is fucking great, I love him so much. The match starts with Black and Rowe. They chain wrestle for a bit, before Rowe takes up the advantage. Ricochet and Hanson go at it a bit before Black tags back in so they can do their now tandem sit down thingy. I don't like that they both do it. That's Black's thing. Anyway Black and Ricochet are a fucking great tag team, seriously. They have great chemistry and their styles mesh really well. War Raiders, on the other hand, hold no surprises with their tag chemistry; we all know they're fucking top. Ricochet hits a standing Shooting Star Press on Rowe for a two count. The crowd decide to entertain themselves during a rest hold break, which is weird considering how good this match has been. Hanson spends about three weeks charging at Black and Ricochet in the turnbuckles. Ricochet hits a GREAT Fallaway Slam to Hanson. A fantastic strike sequence between Black and Rowe ends in a solid two-count for Black after a bridging German Suplex. Hanson hits a handspring back elbow(!!!!!!!!) to Ricochet. Both of War Raiders try to pin Ricochet so Black lands a double stomp to both of them. Fuck me. Ricochet sees a chance and hits a Flying Corkscrew Space Tiger Drop. Hanson hits a top rope cannonball. This is absurd. Ricochet and Rowe break a countout by about a tenth of a second. Black and Ricochet hit a back to back Black Mass/Shooting Star Press and get a two count after Hanson shoves Black into the pin. War Raiders eventually retain with a Fallout to Ricochet.
Holy shit. I'm speechless as to how good that was. Genuinely. What a fucking outstanding match. Please, please go out of your way to watch this. Regardless of whatever goes on next, I pity it having to follow that. Fuck me.
Rating: ***** Five out of five.
Velveteen Dream(c) vs Matt Riddle
---This is Matt Riddle's big chance to win me over, as I don't fully "get it" yet. I'm sure he's panicking about this. He's pretty over. That flip-flop double kick is amusing. Velveteen Dream gets the full-blown Special Entrance; he's dressed like the Statue of Liberty. Because of course he is. Riddle looks as unimpressed as it's humanly possible to be. Riddle is loudly booed during the cheer-off. Riddle opens with some low kicks, then a few submission holds. Riddle transitions into an Armbar before Dream rolls to the ropes. That looked good. Dream taunts Riddle so Riddle hits some rolling suplexes, then tries to mimic Dream's taunt and it goes tits up for him. Dream misses a top rope jumping attack and Riddle hits a German suplex to the outside. Riddle hits some good looking chops. WALTER accepts the challenge. Riddle hits an Exploder Suplex and a Penalty Kick. He's looking good. Riddle displays heel tendencies as he's forced to break a submission hold. Riddle hits a GTS followed by a Bridging German, two count. Velveteen Dream fully Hulks up for his comeback spot. Silly. Riddle hits a step up knee strike. Dream hits a Codebreaker. Brave. Dream fights out of two ankle locks, misses the Purple Rainmaker and almost taps out. Riddle hits an incredible, INCREDIBLE outside-in Suplex, then gets the closest two count I've seen in a while. The crowd is alive now. Dream rolls through a Bromission and keeps Riddle rolled up for the three count and the win.
Genuinely surprised they had Riddle lose this early into his run. The match started slowly and I thought it was fucked, but it got pretty bloody good as it went on. Riddle has impressed me.
Rating: ****1/2 Four and a half out of five.
Pete Dunne(c) vs WALTER
---Pete Dunne has held the NXT UK title since shortly before the dinosaurs were wiped out. WALTER is a legitimately terrifying human being. I'm so up for this. WALTER's music is absolutely brilliant, it fits him more perfectly than I can remember music fitting a wrestler. Pete Dunne is over as fuck. He's also from round your writer's vague neck of the woods. I've predicted a WALTER win, but fuck that, come on Pete. Do it for Brum, me babby. The bell rings and Dunne wisely shits it at a test of strength, but gets immediately overpowered regardless. WALTER tries to keep a chinlock, but Dunne uses his signature Joint Manipulation to break it. Pete Dunne is great. Very slow start to this match. Wise from a storytelling standpoint for Dunne. Dunne lands a forearm strike so WALTER chops him through the core of the earth. More like it boys. Dunne leapfrogs and hits a kick, so WALTER does the exact same. Loads more impressive when a 300 pound bloke does it. WALTER hits a slam to the ring apron ("The hardest part of the ring!" copyright Michael Cole) and begins to assert dominance. Pete Dunne gets put in a Boston Crab, which form someone WALTER's size must fucking wreck. Fuck that for a game of soldiers. Dunne bends WALTER's fingers back big time, and gets his chin fully kicked off for his troubles. Dunne shows off a lot of underrated agility to get some momentum going. See you on 205 Live then Pete. Dunne hits a Sit-Out Powerbomb on WALTER, who is half a foot taller and a full 100 pounds heavier than him, for a two count. Dunne hits a double stomp from the top rope to the floor. Christ. WALTER hits a Shotgun Dropkick and sends Dunne halfway across the city of New York. Dunne kicks out of a Powerbomb that the commentators tell me has defeated every competitor WALTER has faced so far in NXT UK. Dunne tries to chop WALTER. Bad idea pal. He gets chopped so hard he collapses to his knees on the spot. WALTER goes for his Powerbomb again but Dunne hits a Step-Up Enziguri. This is turning into a bloody good Actual Wrestling Match. WALTER hits an Avalanche Sleeper Suplex which looks like it breaks Dunne's neck on landing, christ alive. Dunne gets a CLOSE two-count with a Crucifix pin. Mauro Ranallo reckons this match is "as contentious as Brexit". Pal, it isn't, I promise. Dunne traps WALTER in a wicked looking finger bend submission, which he barely escapes from. WALTER goes for a top rope Splash and gets caught in a Triangle choke. Dunne tries for the Bitter End and gets Clotheslined to death. DUNNE HITS THE BITTER END AND WALTER KICKS OUT. Fuck me drunk. This is outstanding wrestling. WALTER hits a big boot that fucking kills Dunne, but refuses to cover him. Dunne meets him at the top rope and WALTER hits a top rope release Powerbomb, then goes up top again and hits a Splash for the three-count. We have a new NXT United Kingdom Champion.
This match was fucking outstanding. There wasn't much in the way of WWE Style Sports Entertainment, which is usually a problem for me as I tend to need some of the drama/soap opera stuff to keep my attention. What there was, though, was a genuinely brilliant, brilliant wrestling match, with a superb story woven through it, from two of the best wrestlers in the world, that thoroughly captivated me once it got going. What a match. Like I said about a previous match; PLEASE watch this.
Rating: ***** Five out of five.
Shayna Baszler(c) vs Bianca Belair vs Io Shirai vs Kairi Sane (Fatal Four Way)
---Bianca Belair reckons "being undefeated is a mindset". Not sure that's how it works, Bianca, but you do you. her tights display her smacking up her opponents, which is great. I love Kairi Sane but I genuinely cannot stand the Pirate Princess gimmick. It's so... 1980s. Not a fan. Io Shirai's music sounds like it'd fucking bang in Ibiza. Doesn't suit her at all but it's great, I'm putting it on my Happy Music Playlist. So far it's the only song. Hahahaha I'm so funny please validate me. Shayna Baszler is properly scary; I think she's fucking brilliant. Shirai and Sane get chucked out of the ring immediately, and Belair tries an early cover and gets smacked in the mush with a Meteora from Shirai. Sane and Shirai hit some good tandem offence on Baszler, then dodge each other for a bit before they both get dragged to their feet by Belair and Baszler. Io Shirai is only 28, as a sidenote; I thought she was at least mid thirties, her name seems to have been around forever. Belair hits a Fallaway Slam for a two count which Baszler breaks up. Sane and Shirai hit a double Powerbomb to Baszler, who is busy Superplexing Belair. Shirai and Sane hit great tag team offence on both other opponents for a while, but like... You gotta go after each other as well girls. Belair hits a Military Press Slam on Shirai over the ropes to the other two on the outside. Effortless. Belair powers out of the Kirifuda Clutch, plants Baszler and gets a two-count that Shirai breaks. Shirai hits a top rope moonsault to Baszler, but Sane breaks up the pin, which makes me happy because finally they're taking it seriously. Sane hits the In-Sane Elbow which Shirai barely breaks up. Shirai and Sane are all over each other now. Sane goes to the top rope but Belair whips her with her hair. Belair hits her finisher to Sane and Shirai at the same time, but gets kneed by Baszler before she can capitalise, and ends up tapping out to the Kirifuda Clutch.
A real surprise for me in the result. Surely there's no more stories NXT can tell with Shayna Baszler, and the post-Wrestlemania batch of call-ups would have been the perfect opportunity to put her on Smackdown and have her murder everybody. Baffling. The match, however, was pretty bloody good. Sane and Shirai looked like megastars. Belair comes out of this looking a little weak having lost to Baszler again, though, which troubles me somewhat. Either way, very good match.
Rating: ***3/4 Three and three quarters out of five.
Johnny Gargano vs Adam Cole (Two out of Three Falls)
---Johnny comes out in an Iron Man outfit. Wrong gimmick match, pal. He's over as fuck though, as you'd expect. Adam Cole is fucking brilliant and will main event Wrestlemania if there's any justice in the world; he's unbelievably over, and the ADAM COLE BAYBAY thing will never, ever get old. Whoever wins this match is NXT's first ever triple Crown Champion (Tag team titles, North American title, NXT title). No pressure boys. The bell rings and it takes them a good two minutes to get going because the crowd will not shut the fuck up chanting for Cole. I fucking love a "for the vacant title" match, me. Chain wrestling starts us off, with Gargano holding advantage. Adam Cole's dick is positively distracting through his tights, bloody hell pal. Both competitors try signature moves and miss, which looks good. The crowd are absolutely molten already, and we aren't even past the opening chain wrestling. Gargano hits a nice dropkick and back body drop to the outside, followed by a missle dropkick between the ropes to Cole on the outside. Cole hits a very high step up Enziguri to create some space. Cole chops Gargano so hard WALTER winces backstage, probably. Cole is a very effective methodical wrestler in between the flashy stuff, it's so good to see. This is going a long time without the first fall; most matches with this gimmick rush the first fall, which annoys me, so this is really good. Gargano hits a Slingshot Spear for a close two-count, which almost made me look like an incredibly dumb bitch. Cole hits a Tree of Woe/Lumbar Check combo kind of thing for a great two count. They trade schoolboy rollups with no success. Cracking watch this. They both go for a Superkick and stop, which looks great. Adam Cole hits the Last Shot and FINALLY gets the first fall.
Adam Cole 1-0 Johnny Gargano
Gargano gets hit by the Last Shot again. HE KICKS OUT. Of course he does. It killed him the first time but the second he's fine, because SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT. Gargano Spears Cole off the apron, which seems to have actually murdered Cole. Or not; Cole hits an Ushigoroshi to Gargano for a decent two count. Gargano hits an Avalanche Air Raid Crash but Cole kicks out. I love NXT. Gargano jumps over the top rope to hit a Slingshot DDT to the ring apron, which looks fucking BRILLIANT. I look away for 20 seconds and Gargano has tapped Cole out for the equaliser.
Adam Cole 1-1 Johnny Gargano
Gargano turns Cole inside out with a clothesline, which is followed by Cole getting Gargano down for a close two count. Gargano hits a Lawn Dart followed by a Full Nelson Flatliner and gets another two count. Two count city, this. They hit each other with the same offence finished with tandem Superkicks. This is a fucking great match. They have the hallowed "Both these guys" chant from the crowd. Gargano kicks out of a Straightjacket German Suplex with a ridiculously close two count. Cole teases a Package Piledriver but hits a Reverse Spike Hurricanrana. Gargano gets so, so close with a Slingshot DDT. Cole hits a Springboard Canadian Destroyer(!!!) and only gets a two count(!!!!!!!!). Fuck me drunk what a match this has been. Marsh just said "I think wrestling may be broken. Nothing tops this." and he's spot on. Gargano barely makes a 9 count, gets kicked in the face so hard I see the life leave his body and float to heaven, and STILL kicks out. Gargano gets Cole in the Gargano Escape but Roderick Strong interrupts, then distracts the referee as Cole taps out but isn't seen. Gargano gets planted with a Fush/O'Reilly High-Low as the referee finally gets his shit together but STILL KICKS OUT. Gargano fucks up the rest of the Undisputed Era, but gets hit with the Last Shot again, and KICKS OUT. AGAIN. Fucking hell. Cole gets trapped in the Gargano Escape, almost makes the ropes but gets rolled back through to the middle of the ring, and TAPS OUT. JOHNNY GARGANO IS NXT CHAMPION.
Fucking hell fire. Words cannot do this match justice, for the third time tonight. Outstanding. Not the result I expected, which adds to the drama. Watch this match. For the love of all that is holy, watch it.
Rating: ******. Six out of five.
FINAL SUMMARY:
Fuck me. Watch this PPV. Fuck me drunk. Twice I thought I'd watched a definite Match of the Year candidate that couldn't be topped in a million years, and twice I was proven wrong. Three of these five matches are absolutely spellbinding, and the other two are pretty damn great as well. Johnny Gargano vs Adam Cole is, without any hyperbole, one of the best wrestling matches of all time, on any promotion.
Rating: ***** Five out of five.
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