WWE Royal Rumble Review



Kickoff: Chad Gable & Bobby Roode vs Scott Dawson & Rezar

Well, what a pointless bag of nonsense this is. If a match doesn't belong on a show, is there any point on putting it on? They couldn't even be bothered to put the titles on the line. I have already forgotten it. *1/2

Kickoff: US Title - Rusev vs Shinsuke Nakamura

I thought this was a pretty good match, even if it did have another disappointing Lana-centric finish. It wasn't at the level of their match from Smackdown last month but it was on the Kickoff show, so that wasn't really expected. ***

Kickoff: Cruiserweight Title - Buddy Murphy vs Hideo Itami vs Kalisto vs Akira Tozawa

This was another good showing from the cruisers on the Kickoff show. Murphy is fucking great and the other three men all got their stuff in too. Maybe they will actually get a match on the main card at some point. ***3/4

Smackdown Women's Title - Asuka vs Becky Lynch

This was a great way to kick off the main show. They busted their ass, delivering a gripping match that felt like it could go either way, and it fully grabbed the attention of the live crowd. There was some sort of spinning suplex off the apron that looked pretty nasty. They did some really good submission exchanges towards the end before Asuka won with the Cattle Mutilation. Check this out. ****

Smackdown Tag Titles - The Bar vs The Miz & Shane McMahon

As much as I hate seeing Shane wrestle, this was better than I anticipated. The structure of the match helped to cover for Shane's terrible punches and the need to make him come across as some sort of super wrestler. His triangle choke was one of the worst submissions I have ever seen applied. His shooting star press popped the crowd though. It's a shame that The Bar lost. ***

Raw Women's Title - Ronda Rousey vs Sasha Banks

This was a pretty intense match. It wasn't the smoothest of encounters but that may have actually helped overall. Sasha looked good in defeat as she got in as much as almost anyone has against Rousey. At no point did the match ever begin to drag. After the match, they teased the Four Horsewomen feud once again. Good stuff. ***1/2

Women's Royal Rumble

Lacey Evans and Natalya started off the match. Mandy Rose and Liv Morgan come out next but Morgan is eliminated sharpish by Nattie. Mickie James enters at five, with Ember Moon at six, and Billie Kay at seven. Nikki Cross is in at eight and she goes on a tear. Peyton Royce is number nine and Tamina is ten. Tamina does her plodding big woman thing and eliminates James. Nothing of particular note has happened as of yet, other than James throwing a kick that wasn't in the same postcode as her target.

Xia Li kicks off the second portion, with Sarah Logan at 12. Nikki Cross is eliminated by the Iiconics before Charlotte enters at 13 to get this Rumble going. Lacey Evans eliminates both Iiconics, and Charlotte gets rid of Li and Tamina. Kairi Sane is at 14. Logan is dumped by Sane and Nattie. Maria Kanellis is in at 15, which means we get to hear that tune. Naomi is in at 16 and immediately eliminates Mandy Rose. Naomi does a crazy elimination save but Rose cuts off her moment and she is eliminated. Charlotte eliminates Lacey Evans before Candice LeRae arrives at 17. Alicia Fox is the 18th entrant. Fox and Kanellis team up and it is weird as fuck. Kanellis is eliminated by Fox before Kacy Catanzaro enters at 19. She does some neat athletic things. Zelina Vega rounds out the first 20. This section has been better than the first, insane Fox fever dream aside.

Ruby Riott kicks off the final 10 of this match. The Riott squad put a beat down on Charlotte and Fox, and Vega hides under the ring. Riott then eliminates Fox. Thank heavens. The Riott squad take out LeRae allowing Ruby to eliminate her. Dana Brooke is the next entrant. Sane is dumped by Riott. Io Shirai is in at 23. Shirai takes out the Riott Squad. Rhea Ripley is the 24th entrant. Kacy Catanzaro does a fantastic elimination escape but then gets eliminated by Rhea Ripley. Sonya Deville is in at 25. Ripley eliminates Brooke. Hornswoggle scares Vega out from under the ring and she gets eliminated by Ripley. Hornswoggle then chases Vega up the ramp. Why? Alexa Bliss is in at 26. Bliss eliminates Deville. Bayley draws lucky number 27. Bayley eliminates Riott and Ripley. Lana limps out at 28, selling her injury from earlier. Nia Jax is in at 29 and attacks Lana who still hasn't made it to the ring. Shirai is dumped by Jax. Jax gets rid of Natalya after a 56-minute effort. Stellar performance by Nattie. Carmella is in at 30, as is already known. Becky Lynch turns up and demands to be put in the match as a replacement for Lana. Fit Finlay thinks about it but eventually agrees, to a rapturous ovation. Bliss dumps Moon after a 53-minute effort. Carmella and Bayley get rid of Bliss. Charlotte gets rid of Carmella to leave a final four of Bayley, Jax, Charlotte and The Man. Bayley is 86ed by Jax and we are down to three. Lynch eliminates Jax and then there were two. Jax attacks Lynch, causing her to tweak her knee. Charlotte finds it hilarious. Becky gets back in but Charlotte immediately targets the knee. Becky will not give up and in the end, she manages to pull out the victory because she is The fucking Man. 

The match started off pretty poorly, with a number of botches and missteps, but it managed to pull itself together as it went on, and the last 15 minutes or so were really good. The first 35-40 minutes are entirely unmemorable though. At the end of the day the right person won, and it created a really good moment. A number of women got the chance to shine in different contexts, which is always nice to see too. Having said that, it wasn't at the level of last year's match overall. ***

WWE Title - Daniel Bryan vs AJ Styles

This was a weird one. The wrestling itself was good but the finish was supremely weird. Erick Rowan showed up and cost Styles the match. I can only assume that Bryan is becoming the new Captain Planet and Rowan is the first of his Planeteers. I guess he is Wheeler. I wonder who is gonna get lumped with the power of heart. **1/2


Universal Title - Brock Lesnar vs Finn Balor

This went pretty much as well as a David vs Goliath sprint could have gone. Balor lost, obviously, but he didn't look bad in doing so. He got a lot in on Lesnar and threatened to win but in the end, he got caught in a flash kimura and that is all she wrote. It was a fun 8 minutes though. ***3/4

Men's Royal Rumble

Elias is first and tries to sing us a song but gets cut off by the number two entrant Jeff fucking Jarrett. They tease a duet but Elias clocks him with a guitar and eliminates him. Number three is Nakamura, and number four is Kurt Angle. Big E is fifth, and Angle gets eliminated by Naka. Johnny Gargano is entrant number six, with Mahal at seven. Mahal eats shit almost immediately, getting eliminated by Gargano. Samoa Joe is eighth. He eliminates Big E. Curt Hawkins is ninth, and Seth Rollins rounds out the first 10. He eliminates Elias.

Titus O'Neil is in at 11, and celebrates when he doesn't fall over on his way to the ring. He gets immediately low bridged by Hawkins and he is gone. Hawkins is then dumped by Joe. Kofi Kingston enters at 12. Mustafa Ali is in at 13. Ali taunts, and then eliminates, Nakamura. Dean Ambrose is the number 14 entrant. Kingston does his customary save spot. Ambrose sends Gargano to the back. Number 15 is No Way Jose for some reason. And he's gone immediately. Big Bad Drew McIntyre is in at 16. He headbutts Jose and destroys his conga line. Good. Xavier Woods enters at 17. Woods saves Kingston but they both get dumped by McIntyre. The Bruiserweight comes in at 18. My boy Andrade is in at 19. I need to see him face Dunne. Apollo Crews rounds out the first 20. 

Aleister Black is in at number 21. This ring is chock full of talent right now. Black eliminates Ambrose with the Black Mass. Shelton Benjamin is next up at 22. Ali dumps Joe before Baron Corbin comes in at 23 and eliminates Apollo. Jeff Hardy is the 24th competitor. Corbin eliminates Black, because he is a prick. McIntyre then eliminates Pete Dunne. Rey is in at 25. Lashley is the 26th entrant. He is done immediately and takes it out on Rollins, putting him through the announce table. Braun is out in the 27 slot. He eliminates Corbin and Benjamin, while McIntyre dumps Hardy. Number 28 is Ziggler and he goes straight after McIntyre and gets rid of him. Randy Orton is in at 29. Joy. There is an insane tower of doom suplex spot involving Braun, Andrade, Rey and Ali. R-Truth comes in at 30 but gets attacked by Nia Jax of all people, and she takes his place in this Rumble. She eliminates Mustafa Ali before eating a bunch of finishers and getting eliminated by Rey. Orton then eliminates Rey and Andrade dumps Orton. Ziggler, Andrade, Braun and Rollins are the last four. Strowman takes a bunch of big moves but still manages to eliminate Andrade and Ziggler. Braun and Rollins battle it out for a bit but in the end, it is Rollins that gets it done. 

Rollins seemed like the obvious pick heading in and that is how it played out. There were some good showings from a number of wrestlers and some nice spots thrown in there. The one thing that boggles my mind is the booking of Nia Jax in the 30 spot. It didn't really accomplish anything. Wasn't there anybody else that could have had that spot? No big returns or one off appearances that could have at least popped the crowd? The match, on the whole, had a better structure than the women's match but the ending was nowhere near as impactful. They would have been better served finishing the show with Becky Lynch standing tall. It was a fine Rumble but ultimately a forgettable one. ***

Overall Grade - C+

While this definitely wasn't a bad show, and contained a couple of matches that are worth a watch, it ultimately fell short of what you want from the Rumble as both Rumble matches failed to hit that truly memorable level, for different reasons. I agree with both of the winners but the show would have benefitted from Lynch standing tall to finish the night. 

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