WWE WrestleMania 34 Review

Kickoff: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

This was very much the run of the mill battle royal. Matt Hardy won after Bray Wyatt returned and helped him. *1/2

Kickoff: Cruiserweight Title - Cedric Alexander vs Mustafa Ali

This was a good match that would have probably been even better if had taken place on 205 Live. Either man winning would have been a good call and they delivered a good babyface vs babyface encounter. ***1/2

Kickoff: WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal

This was a better match than the Andre but it was still just a battle royal. At least this one had the Sasha vs Bayley story to add a bit of spice. Bayley eliminated Sasha and thought she had won but Naomi was never eliminated and eliminates Bayley for the win. **

Intercontinental Title - The Miz vs Finn Balor vs Seth Rollins

This was a fantastic way to kick off the main card. They worked a smooth as silk match that was wrestled at a great pace throughout. They used the 15 minutes they were given really well and the crowd was behind them the whole way. Seth Rollins won with the curb stomp to capture the IC Title. Lovely stuff. ****1/4

Smackdown Women's Title - Charlotte Flair vs Asuka

This was another great match. These two put on a quality back and forth encounter that was the best thing Charlotte has done in ages. This is a match that I thought should have possibly gone a touch longer. I most definitely didn't see them ending Asuka's streak here either. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Regardless, the match was great. ****

United States Title - Randy Orton vs Bobby Roode vs Rusev vs Jinder Mahal

This one turned out pretty much as average as I thought it would be. Not great, not bad, just there. It didn't feel particularly smooth and I have no idea whatsoever why Jinder was chosen to win. **1/2

Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey vs Triple H & Stephanie McMahon

This was so much better than I thought it had any hope of being. Under the circumstances, I think this was pretty much the perfect match they could have put on. Angle & HHH worked their asses off, and both Steph and Ronda played their parts to perfection. Rousey has one of the hottest hot tags in recent memory. The crowd was completely invested in absolutely everything they did and it created a hell of an atmosphere. ****1/4

Smackdown Tag Team Titles - The Usos vs New Day vs Bludgeon Brothers

This was a bit of a disappointment, as it only lasted roughly 5 minutes, but I do sort of get it. The previous match was long and they wanted to establish the Bludgeons as killers. On that front, it was mission accomplished. **1/2

John Cena is out, dressed to fight. He gets told something by a ref and goes to leave. The lights go out and it is Elias. He sings a song but Cena isn't impressed. He hits him with an AA and leaves. The lights go out again. This time it is the Undertaker. 

John Cena vs The Undertaker

Cena realises immediately that he has fucked up. Undertaker runs through a greatest hits selection of moves and pins Cena in under 3 minutes. This was actually a pretty well-done encounter. I think there is a good chance that this leads to a rematch next year where Cena officially retires the Undertaker. NR

Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon vs Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

This match was pretty fun on the whole but it did seem to have a weird layout. Shane played the hero a bit too much in a match that featured a returning Daniel Bryan. Bryan looked like he hadn't lost a step, and I hope for a second career that is akin that which Michaels had. Bryan picked up the win and Owens & Zayn are gone. ***

Raw Women's Title - Alexa Bliss vs Nia Jax

This was a solid match but it felt like it should have been more of a squash, due to the story they told. Doing that would have kept the attention of a tiring crowd too. **

WWE Title - AJ Styles vs Shinsuke Nakamura

These two had a 5-star classic at Wrestle Kingdom 10. Could they repeat that here? No. No, they couldn't. This was by no means a bad match but given the talent of both men, it can only be considered a bit of a disappointment. The crowd was really tired by this point too, so that didn't help either. Styles won with a Styles Clash and Nakamura turned heel afterwards. I'm not sure why Nakamura hasn't worked out that well but it looks incredibly likely that his best moment in WWE will be his first day in NXT. ***1/2

Raw Tag Team Titles - The Bar vs Braun Strowman & A 10 Year Old Kid Named Nicolas

Braun Strowman chose a child as his partner and won in about 3 minutes. I get that they are making a joke but it does nothing for the tag titles. *

Universal Title - Brock Lesnar vs Roman Reigns

By this point in the show, this match could have been the best thing ever and the crowd still wouldn't have cared. It wasn't the best thing ever but it was a solid wrestling match. The crowd gives less than zero fucks. Reigns bled everywhere and kicked out of five F5s. The crowd gives even less fucks. Then Lesnar still won. I don't get what they are aiming for here. There appears to be no overall plan in place. **1/2

Overall Grade - B-

This show is proof positive, as if it was ever in doubt, that they need to cut some of the running time off this show. The first half of this show is top notch stuff, with three ****+ matches, but the second half was a mixture of weird booking decisions and disappointment. It is always going to be an uphill struggle to put on a great match when the crowd is dying on their arse. Nothing will change though.