After a weekend of watching the spectacular PWG Battle of Los Angeles the thought of going back to WWE TV programming is not the most appealing thing in the world, but maybe it will surprise me.
We start off the show with Kurt Angle. He says that Shane took friendly competition too far last week. He's not wrong, I've been saying for a while that Shane is a bit of a prick. Angle apologises to the roster but is interrupted by Stephanie McMahon. Oh, for fuck sake! She says that she had the utmost respect for Angle, until last week. One very minor mistake is apparently enough to lose years of respect, that's Stephanie for ya. She says she doesn't want any pathetic excuses and runs down Shane. She says that Angle will captain the Raw team at Survivor Series and if they lose he will be fired. I am not happy to see Stephanie back. Not at all. Her personality is so grating. All she does is turn up and run down everyone in her vicinity, and she never gets her comeuppance. She adds nothing to the show whatsoever.
Kurt thanks Stephanie for making him look like a bitch on TV.
Angle yells at Miz for being late. Miz isn't happy about Angle being captain, and Angle isn't happy that Miz is a coward. He will defend the IC Title tonight.
Alicia Fox can't be bothered to wrestle tonight so she has gotten a replacement.
Nia Jax vs Bayley - Hey, Nia's back. This was a distinctly average match. Jax won with a spear and a legdrop. After the match Fox picked the Nia as the first member of her team.
Samoa Joe is back. Good news. He is over. He says that people have missed him but he hasn't missed any of them. Joe is gold on the mic.
Samoa Joe vs Apollo Crews - A decent enough return for Joe, he won in short order with the Coquina Clutch. After the match Titus got in Joe's face but Joe choked him out too.
The Miz vs Matt Hardy (IC Title) - This was a pretty good match. Miz has become one of the most reliable wrestlers on the roster. Miz won with the Skull Crushing Finale.
Alexa Bliss is chatting with Angle, she says that Raw needs to cut some of it's dead weight. A peculiar choice of words given the recent firings. Angle says that Mickie defended Raw last week so she will get a title shot in tonight's main event.
Asuka vs Stacie Cullen - Murder, murder, murder and kill, kill, kill. That's more like it.
Angle is doing something on his phone and Daniel Bryan turns up. He says that he has come alone and that he had nothing to do with last week's attacks. Angle says that they will take Smackdown out.
Bryan is on the phone when the lights go out. He is locked in the office. Kane turns up and attacks Bryan in the dark so they didn't have to show anything.
Finn Balor vs Cesaro - This was a good match, as you would expect from two great wrestlers. Balor picked up a rebound win after his loss to Kane last week.
I take back what I said. Kane is here and he destroys Balor, hitting a tombstone on the stage. Why in the world is Kane being presented as such a fucking big deal in 2017? I don't get it one bit.
Kane vs Seth Rollins - Kane won in 5 minutes. Yeah. What the fuck is happening? The match wasn't very good either.
After the match Ambrose hits the Dirty Deeds on Kane. Sheamus and Cesaro run in and attack Ambrose, allowing Kane to hit a tombstone on both Ambrose and Rollins. Everyone is sacrificed to the altar of Kane! Dumb.
Bryan is stretchered out of the building.
Miztourage find garbage in their locker room. Braun isn't finished with you yet.
Miz tells Kane about the garbage but Kane isn't interested in helping.
Anderson & Gallows vs Heath Slater & Rhyno (Trick or Street Fight) - Anderson & Gallows are dressed as Tex Ferguson & Chad 2 Badd. That is a good thing. This match, however, was completely horrible. No good points whatsoever.
Miz tries to enlist the help of Sheamus and Cesaro. No deal.
Elias is here to sing a song about Jason Jordan. Jordan arrives, they brawl, and Elias leaves. Jordan then smashes his guitar.
Miztourage tries to leave but Angle tells them that they are staying.
Enzo has his voice back. Gulak is out with him. They run down Angle and say that Kalisto isn't getting the title back. Gulak is more entertaining at Enzo's schtick than Enzo is. Gulak entertains me.
Drew Gulak vs Kalisto - Well, that lasted a minute. Kalisto won, by the way. Enzo lays out Kalisto post match.
Miz is planning an escape.
Alexa Bliss vs Mickie James (Raw Women's Title) - This was a distinctly average main event, that wasn't nearly as good as their PPV match. Bliss won with a punch, of all things.
Miztourage are in the limo. They think they have managed to escape but they are cut off by a garbage truck. It opens up and Braun is there. Has he been in the truck for the last 8 days? Miztourage run to the arena but Braun catches up to them. They try to attack him 3 on 1 but it is isn't enough to slow Braun down. He goes to attack Miz but Axel saves him. Bad move Axel, bad move. Braun decides to give all of his murderous intent to Axel now. He hits him with 5 running powerslams in the ring and another through the announce table. This was, by a huge margin, the best thing on the show.
Overall Thoughts
This was a pretty fucking awful episode of Raw. There are a ton of matches on the show but aside from 2, they are either really short or not very good. Stephanie's return was unwelcome and I'm not on board with Super Kane 2017. The only plus points were the return of Samoa Joe and Braun.
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