WWE Raw Recap (11th September 2017)


Roman Reigns vs Jason Jordan - This was set up after last week, when Reigns took the piss out of Cena for taking so long to beat Jordan last week. Well it took Reigns longer. Much like last week this was a pretty good match.

Cena comes out and he's got some things to say. He says that Reigns was out last week, making fun of him for taking so long to beat Jordan but now the shoe is on the other foot. Reigns says that he was having a great match, something that Cena knows nothing about. He says that he has had more great matches in 2 years than Cena has had in his career. That might be the most factually inaccurate line anyone has ever used on WWE TV. Cena says that he normally has to stay sharp when he out here but Reigns makes it so damn easy for him. He tells Reigns that he has his head so far up his ass he's like a one man human centipede. Cena tells him that he is about to learn what real failure is all about. He says that he has been been taking Reigns to school week after week. He says No Mercy will be a cakewalk. Reigns says that he sells the tickets that Cena can't and that Cena is only here because he can't break into Hollywood. That is a dumb line. There are many actors who would love the lack of breaks that Cena is getting. Reigns says that he knows someone that can help him out. Cena tells Reigns that he should consider him like a drug test, he isn't getting past him. Cena had the best lines here, again. A lot of Reigns' lines didn't make sense and that drug test line by Cena was better than all of them.

Sasha Banks vs Emma - This was disappointingly poor. The crowd didn't care and it told on the match. Banks won with the Banks Statement.

Big 'ol Brock and Paul E. are out to talk about Braun Strowman. Heyman says that for the first time ever Brock is going in as the underdog. He says that Braun is bigger and stronger but is he bad enough to take out the beast. He tells Braun to come to the ring. Braun obliges and we get a ruck between the two. Brock hits a German suplex but it's not very effective against the inhuman Braun. Lesnar looks shocked by this development and ends up eating a chokeslam and big powerslam. Braun stands tall. This was a good segment with Braun looking strong before the title match.

Bray Wyatt vs Goldust - Wyatt won in two minutes. There's not much else to say. After the match Wyatt starts to wipe off Goldie's face paint and Balor comes out to put a stop to the unauthorised face cleaning.

We are backstage with Shesaro. They say that they will take their titles back because they are a real team.

Shesaro are on their way to the ring to face Anderson & Gallows but they run in to Ambrose & Rollins, who are on commentary. They brawl and the Good Brothers decide that they aren't going to be left out so they get involved. 

Rollins & Ambrose want to face everyone and Kurt Angle says that they should find 2 tag partners for an 8 man tag match later in the show.

There is a video announcement that Asuka is going to be on Raw. Guess I'm going to have to wait for Asuka vs Charlotte. 

Nia Jax and Alexa Bliss have a chat. Alexa isn't happy about Asuka stealing their limelight. She is also not best pleased that the title match at No Mercy is a 4-way. She wants the one-on-one match with Nia. Nia tells her that she will get what she wants as she has spoken to Kurt Angle and they will have their singles match next week. 

Elias is out to sing a song about Anaheim.

Elias vs Kalisto - This was a match. I like Elias but matches like this do nothing for anyone.

John Cena vs Braun Strowman - I don't get this at all. Why would you have this first time match with absolutely no build whatsoever? You could build a PPV on it. Anyway, the match was alright. It ended when Braun couldn't be arsed to continue having a regular match and decided to batter Cena with the steps, which got him disqualified. 

The tag champs are trying to find partners for tonight. They meet Dean Malenko & Jamie Noble. They decide that they aren't dressed to wrestle so they pick the Hardys instead. I would mark out for the team of Malenko & Noble.

It's Miz TV time. Miz says that he has big news, Maryse is expecting their first child. I'm genuinely happy about that, good for them. Miz tries to say something about fatherhood but he is interrupted by Enzo. Miz is not fucking happy about this turn of events. He rips Enzo to pieces, telling him that he doesn't know when to shut up and that is why he gets kicked off tour buses and out of the locker room. He didn't choose to go to 205 Live, he is there because nobody on the Raw roster can stand him. Miz says he has been in Enzo's shoes and he worked his ass off to gain people's respect but Enzo keeps making mistake after mistake. He says that he is just a con artist with a couple of catchphrases. Enzo says that he is original but Miz copies from other people, which is ironic as Enzo stole that line from Cena. He says he will beat Neville for the cruiserweight title and calls Miz a paper champion. Miz says that if Enzo was championship material his best friend wouldn't have abandoned him. Enzo wants to fight. Miz was fantastic again here, making good points again, as per usual. If Miz was on Smackdown I would be fully on board with putting the WWE Title on him. He deserves it. 

The Miz vs Enzo Amore - Enzo spends most of the time talking shit. He says that Miz's wrestling goes straight to DVD, which is insane coming from the worst wrestler on the roster. He then questions whether the baby is Miz's. Miz decides he has had enough of this bullshit and beats the piss out of Enzo with assistance from Bo and Axel. This wasn't good. Miz is great but Enzo is the dirt fucking worst. His wrestling is atrocious and his mic work is incredibly one note. He's trash.

Enzo stumbles into Neville backstage. Neville laughs at him, as he should.

Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins & Hardy Boyz vs Cesaro, Sheamus, Anderson & Gallows - This was a bit of a lackluster match. Nothing of note really happened and the wrestling was run of the mill. The champs won with the ripcord knee/Dirty Deeds combo.

Overall Thoughts

Not a great show. It started off well but it was a bit of a slog after that. Cena, Braun and Miz all came out looking good but everyone else just had another week. The actual wrestling isn't very good this week either. 

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