Booker T can't make it due to the disaster type situations in Texas so Jerry Lawler is replacing him. Joy. I would rather it was nobody.
The Miz turns up to say that he is sick of being disrespected. Guess what, he makes good points, Angle comes out and says that the IC Title will defended at No Mercy but first there will be a Battle Royal with the winner getting a shot at Miz next week.
IC Title Number 1 Contendership Battle Royal - It was a Battle Royal, much like any other. The only notable moments were Wyatt transmogrifying into existence to eliminate Balor, so that is continuing, and Jeff Hardy winning.
Alexa says that she will win tonight because Sasha is incapable of successfully defending a title.
Enzo Amore vs Noam Dar - Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. The cruiserweights are dead, lads. Total garbage.
Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar are here, which is a massive improvement from watching Enzo vs Dar. Heyman sings the praises of Braun Strowman, saying that he is the most worthy challenger Lesnar has had. He praises his Summerslam performance and his destruction of Lesnar last week. He then says that Lesnar isn't hiding, he is looking for him. Lesnar grabs the mic and says 'Suplex City, bitch'. Decent hype segment, it did what it was meant to.
Seth Rollins vs Cesaro - Good TV match. It ends without anyone hitting a finisher too, Cesaro wins after a European uppercut, which is a decent thing to throw out there every now and again.
Dean Ambrose vs Sheamus - Another good TV match. Ambrose picks up the win after hitting wrestling's most protected move, Dirty Deeds, following interference by Rollins. I look forward to their PPV match.
Emma and Mickie James had a chat backstage. Something about Twitter and starting the Women's Revolution. It was daft.
Emma vs Mickie James - Emma wins! She can now tweet what she likes or something like that.
It's time for the Reigns & Cena contract signing. Angle is out to say that the match is Mania main event worthy, which it is and where it should probably be. Reigns says that Cena isn't as good as he thinks he is and that he has done something Cena could never do, beat Taker at WrestleMania. Cena says that unlike Taker he isn't an old man with a bad hip. He then calls Reigns a corporate created John Cena bootleg. He says that if he wants to be the man he better learn how to cut a promo. Savage. Reigns calls Cena a bitch, a part-timing fake ass bitch. He busts his ass so that Cena can turn up on the Today show and only show up to wrestle if he gets paid enough money. Reigns says that Cena buries young talent and that's why Cena doesn't like him, he can't be buried. Why would he lower himself to being the next John Cena when he could be the one and only Roman Reigns. Cena says that Reigns is just using the same excuses as everybody else. He hasn't headlined Mania in 5 years, he opened Summerslam and he used his US Title run as a way to give chances to new wrestlers such as Kevin Owens and AJ Styles. Reigns saw the US Title as a demotion. He says that the only reason he is still here is because Reigns can't do his job. He says that Reigns should be embarrassed because he can do this better part time than Reigns can ever do it full time. Reigns signs the contract and flips over the table. Anderson and Gallows then show up for a fight, the idiots. This was fucking brilliant. Cena buried Reigns, Reigns buried Cena, Cena buried Taker. In all fairness Reigns tried to bury Cena but Cena was just vicious as fuck, with some of his lines being brutal. This was one of my favourite moments of the year.
John Cena & Roman Reigns vs Anderson & Gallows - Well this was pointless, especially as Cena and Reigns functioned perfectly fine as a team. They won obviously.
Elias is out to grace us with his presence. He runs down Memphis which means that Jerry Lawler feels the need to play the local hero. He plays out Pelvis Wesley from Southpaw Regional Wrestling and Elias murders him.
Miz isn't best pleased to be facing Jeff Hardy next week.
Sasha Banks vs Alexa Bliss (Raw Women's Title) - This was a fun main event with Sasha once again being unable to successfully defend her title. The title flip flops once again. I understand why they did it here though, the events that followed the match work better with her as champ.
Nia Jax comes down to celebrate with Alexa. She picks her up on her shoulders and in a scene reminiscent of Evolution turning on Orton she dropped her to establish that she will be the next challenger.
Alright show. 3 watchable matches and a beast of a promo segment from Cena and Reigns.