Kickoff: Tye Dillinger vs Aiden English
I am going to keep mentioning it because it keeps happening but putting adverts in the middle of your matches is fucking dumb, especially when you have the entire hour long kickoff show to do it in. In terms of match quality this was decent but unspectacular and finished with Tye Dillinger wondering what he has done to have such a catastrophic career decline. **1/2
Smackdown Tag Titles - The Usos vs New Day
New Day are going with Kingston and Woods. I knew these two teams were capable of having a great match but this surpassed any expectations I could have had. This was as good a straight up tag match as there has been on the main roster in a long time. They won over the Philly crowd too, which made it feel even better. Some of the near falls were incredible and it is proof positive that Xavier Woods should be wrestling more. Take a bow lads, you done good. ****1/4
Shinsuke Nakamura vs Baron Corbin
This match started off in a tough place having to follow that fantastic tag match and it never dug it's way out of the hole. The crowd wanted nothing to do with it and just spent their time shitting on Corbin. The pacing and match structure were terrible and the DQ finish was as much a metaphorical kick in the dick as it was a physical one. I have probably seen Nakamura have a match this bad before but I don't remember it. *1/2
Fatal 5-Way Number One Contenders Elimination Match - Becky Lynch vs Tamina vs Natalya vs Lana vs Charlotte Flair
The beginning of this match consists of Tamina and Lana working together to literal silence from the crowd. After some time has passed without an elimination we get three in rapid succession which leaves Charlotte and Natalya as the last two competitors. They have a short back and forth before Nattie wins in underwhelming fashion. I can't fathom why they think Naomi vs Natalya is a better match for Summerslam than Naomi vs Charlotte. This was better than the last match but not by a great deal. **
US Title - AJ Styles vs Kevin Owens
I have no idea what has happened to this PPV. The finish to this match was not good at all. I could overlook that if the match was good but by the standards of the men involved it really wasn't. It was uncharacteristically slow and we got our third weak finish in a row. Poor finishes are becoming a bit of an unwanted mainstay in WWE as of late. **1/2
Flag Match - John Cena vs Rusev
This PPV is fucking ruining me. The rules are that you have to get the flag down and take it to the top of the ramp. It was obvious from the offset that Cena was going to win but the structure of the match meant that both men had plenty of opportunities to win but decided against it. The leaps of logic are insane here. Both men are better than this. The finishing 15 seconds were alright but the match lasted over 20 minutes. Flag matches suck. *
It's time for the conclusion of the Fashion X-Files. Except, guess what, it isn't. Dusty finish in a skit. The Ascension are funny here.
Mike Kanellis vs Sami Zayn
50/50 booking. It made no sense for Sami to win but he did anyway. The finish was clean though so at least there's that. **1/2
WWE Title Punjabi Prison Match - Jinder Mahal vs Randy Orton
I am immediately reminded that Punjabi Prison matches look like shit on TV. You can barely see anything. From what I could see, the match was slow and plodding. The only really memorable parts of this were the crazy bump that one of the Singh brothers took off the structure through the announce table and the return of the Great Khali. One of those things is much better than the other. This was not good by any metric. *
Overall Grade - E
The only reason I'm not giving this an F is because that tag title match was great. The booking on this show was fucking shocking. This was the worst show the WWE has put on in quite some time. It was a real chore to get through. Do yourself a favour and only watch the tag match.
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